Naming your feelings and questioning them will enable you to understand the emotion that is driving them. It becomes easier to plan the next action toward handling your toxic emotions and behavior.ĭo you feel fear, frustration, sadness, anger or any other emotion when thinking about your partner’s past? If so, why? Does the emotion you are feeling reflect an issue in your current relationship? Acceptance gives you power over the situation. Denying the problem prevents you from taking a positive step toward recovery. Shed the stigma and accept your current mental state as an issue that can be addressed.Īccept to yourself that your feelings, behavior, and your mental state, are a problem. Understand that having retroactive jealousy does not mean you are a horrible person. But it is possible to overcome the toxic feelings and behaviors associated with retroactive jealousy. Living with it is harder both for you and your partner. How to Handle and Overcome Retroactive Jealousy?Įxperiencing retroactive jealousy is hard. They find themselves trapped in their own thoughts. Sufferers keep brooding and replaying their thoughts, which makes the situation worse.Worse, they search for information that validates such mental state. They browse the internet incessantly to understand their mental state. Sufferers become incapable of understanding their emotions.Sufferer makes sarcastic and cruel remarks at partner’s romantic past.These negative feelings cause the sufferer to indulge in behaviors such as degrading the partner’s values for having had past relationships.Feelings of insecurity drive the sufferer to constantly question the partner about their past relationships.The sufferer peeks into his/ her partner’s emails and social media profiles to know more about the partner’s past. Toxic behaviors that indicate retroactive jealousy include:.He/ she starts feeling that the relationship is unfair as the partner has had more sexual experience than him/ her. The sufferer constantly suspects if the partner loves him/ her. Fear engenders feelings of insecurity, which plants seeds of doubt in the sufferer’s mind. The sufferer undergoes emotional disturbances, which give rise to negative behaviors.Ĭonstant and irrational fear of losing the partner to his/ her ex-partners. Retroactive jealousy is marked by emotional and behavioral changes. This knowledge enables you to differentiate between normal feelings of jealousy and obsessive tendencies. It is important to understand the symptoms of retroactive jealousy. Relationships take a worse turn, eventually coming to an end. The sufferer and the affected partner become entangled in a toxic cycle of obsessive behaviors. Such obsessive mental patterns lead to damaging behaviors, which keep repeating over time. Sometimes, sufferers imagine their partner’s previous relationships and play them over and over in their minds. But continuous and obsessive thoughts about a partner’s past relationships are indicative of retroactive jealousy. When Does Retroactive Jealousy Become an Issue?Īn occasional occurrence of jealousy is normal. This obsession with one’s partner’s romantic past is called Retroactive Jealousy. Raising the toxicity level of the relationship is the form of jealousy where an individual feels angry, upset, or disturbed about the partner’s past romantic relationships. Jealousy can cause the person to resort to manipulative behaviors and controlling tendencies, which can be damaging to the relationship. Jealousy is toxic if it causes the partner to treat the other person in the relationship disrespectfully. He or she can mend erring ways to become a more attentive or affectionate partner. For example, jealousy can help an individual become more aware of his or her true feelings for the other person. Jealousy in a romantic relationship can sometimes be helpful, especially when the individual responds to the emotion with a mature frame of mind.
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